How you doin’ buddy? Funny, I don’t know who you are or where you have come from but I understand that you run this restaurant, at multiple places in Dubai. Listen up pal, you have got to do something about your food. I mean, seriously. You have a British and Italian menu that looks to like Jeremy Clarkson got stood up by some Italian car dealer.
So, if you have a plush looking place, your food needs to match up. And taste good, more importantly. I mean your food doesn’t match the pictures on the wall. Those are fabulous shots. Can’t say the same for your grub.
First, the “good”s: the sea food soup was tasty and refreshing. The free-range omelettes aux choix was cooked well.
And now, the “not-so-good”s: I clearly asked for lots of mushrooms in my omelette but there hardly were any. Either your garcon has retention problems or you have problems retaining your chef.
The french fries were the cold storage variety. Just like any other fast food chain. And they were stashed on so high, clearly looked like you tried hiding your 4 slices of club sandwich around them. Plating issues, eh?
The salad leaves had some insipid dressing. I mean, don’t dress them if they make no difference with a dressing on.
The pasta with crispy prawns turned out to be fried prawn balls. Okay, I’d still take that but had it not for the tasteless insides of it. There was no seasoning or spices that could have elevated the simple pasta dish.
Now, considering the above, your menu is priced steep. I mean, make me feel good for buying a 20 buck tee-shirt priced at 120 bucks from a high fashion store. Ease my pain, will ya?
Clearly your menu is trying to pay for the rent at #TheBeachDubai.
You take care, bruh. Call me if you need any help.
#BurpAndBelch meter: 2.5 burps
#5WordFoodReview: I Wont Pay Your Rent
Joe’s Cafe at The Beach Dubai,
Jumeirah Beach Residences